


Undefined

by fangirling-feels (xGwenxVeerx)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, i am so bad at tags, more characters tagged when I remember them, more tags added when I know what to tag, third serie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7602811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xGwenxVeerx/pseuds/fangirling-feels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes love is given to us when we don't even know if we deserve it. Sometimes we push it away.</p><p>But you have to be pretty damn stupid if you keep pushing it away when it keeps coming back to you </p><p>(aka the story of me where I suck at summarizing my story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> New story because I always start new things before I finish something else.
> 
> Also Impressive now has over a thousand views on ao3 which is just insane! Thank you all so much :)

Wanda was sure that if she hadn’t seen the proof of a human being living in the abandoned building, she would have believed that it was, well, abandoned. That would have been the logical thing to think but Wanda had soon found out that living with the avengers meant that every logical thing was always completely wrong.  
And so she stood near the opening of the building, waiting for her sign to barge in and find the girl they were looking for. In her opinion, it was exactly the kind of plan that would have her running for her life but no one wanted to actually listen to her. And that’s why she waited.  
“Does everyone know what they have to do?”  
“Honestly, Capsicle, we have been over this for over, what, a thousand times?”  
“Thirty three times in total, sir.”  
Wanda smirked as she heard Vision’s voice through her earpiece, silently laughing at his words.  
“You don’t need to go all smart-ass on my Vis, you know that. Anyways, it might be more logical to ask if everyone is in position, wouldn’t it be Frosty?”  
“So we are just going to barge in and scare this girl shitless, having her running away again while we are hoping that she will stop, listen to us and eventually agree with us and be a part of our new team? Yeah, great plan guys. I am standing on exactly the right spot to help with this disaster.”  
Sarcasm wasn’t something that would often be combined with Wanda but there were times that it was all she could think of. Today was not one of her usual, non-sarcastic, let’s-just-agree-with-everything-the-rest-says days.   
“Wanda, we talked about this, let’s just not-”  
“No, you all talked and I had to listen. Do you really think that barging in will help persuade the girl into alignment with SHIELD? She has been fighting against us for almost her whole life, only breaking apart from HYDRA like, what, a couple of months ago? Do you really think that by scaring her she will say yes?”  
“Than how do you think that we should approach her?”  
A small voice interrupted their argument.  
“I don’t know, maybe you could have just knocked and asked me? I have got to agree with pretty girl over there, your original idea wouldn’t have worked out that well.”  
Wanda turned around as quickly as possible, creating a small ball of energy as she was ready to take out whoever it was that was disturbing them, only to drop it when she saw who it was.  
The girl couldn’t be older than her mid-twenties, her hair framing her face that seemed broken yet still ready for a fight, eyes that seemed to have seen the whole world and weren’t ready to face it anymore. But they were strong, showing a force that Wanda hadn’t seen much in her life, mostly in the last couple of months.  
It wasn’t until the girl moved her head down in fear that Wanda noticed that all of them were incredibly quiet - the last time that had happened had been a long time ago - and all looking at her, which obviously wasn’t any comforting at all.  
“Okay, if that’s what you want then I’m just going back inside, packing my stuff and disappearing of the radar again. Guess I’ll see you in a few months again, but don’t expect the answer to be different. And really, try to change your techniques.”  
She turned around, ready to go back where she came from and it took a few seconds for all of them to realize that they were about to completely fuck up the whole mission and it wasn’t even because of the horrible plan that they were supposed to follow.  
“Wait!”  
The girl slowed down but didn’t try to stop and Wanda knew that she had to think quick to let her listen and succeed, something that the rest wouldn’t manage that well.  
“Are you safe right now?”  
Wanda’s words were almost whispered, loud enough to reach her but leave her teammates out hadn’t it been for the earpiece that enabled her to talk to them even if they were miles apart.  
“What?”  
Wanda wasn’t sure if she had heard her correctly but the girl had turned around, a confused look on her face. All she could think of was repeating her question, ignoring Tony’s whispers in her ear.  
“Are you safe right now? Hiding from them, having to move constantly?”  
The small move from her head was all it took for Wanda to slowly step forward, trying to calm the girl down because she was slowly starting to freak out.  
“We can’t guarantee you a safe life but I can promise you that you’ll be safer with us, with SHIELD. I know who you are and what you had done in your past and I know that whatever you are trying isn’t going to work in the end. They will come for you no matter what, I know that.”  
Wanda swallowed, trying to take away the lump in her throat but failing. She noticed the tears forming in the girl's eyes and she wished that she could do anything to stop them but that would have been just plain weird and not something that she would do.  
“But we can give you protection. All you need to do is come with us. I know that we, that SHIELD, have been a threat for you for your whole life. We do not ask you to join us, but we, I do ask you to trust me. We want to help you stay away from HYDRA and stay safe, and while you are out here trying to hide from them you aren’t sure about your safety. I mean, if we have already found you, how long would it take for them?”  
The girl's gaze was lowered to the floor, not daring to look Wanda in the eyes and it suddenly struck her that Wanda did not know her name.  
She was a nameless soldier, a shadow that was known around the world but people never knew who it was.   
But she was a girl after all. One with a name and a story that deserved to be told, no matter what.  
“May I ask what your name is?”  
There was a silence that filled the air before a voice pierced through it again.  
“[Y/N]. My name is [Y/N].”  
Wanda smiled. The name fitted the girl perfectly, and it was a shame that not many people knew about it.  
“Well, [Y/N], do you want to be safe?”  
[Y/N] looked up and Wanda noticed the way the light hitting it, the tears being illuminated together with some sparkles in her eyes. She nodded her head slightly and Wanda couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.  
“Well then, you can go inside and take your belongings, we will wait here for you. Do you want somebody with you or do you think you can manage it on your own?”  
“I can manage it, I’m sure of that.”  
Wanda watched as she saw [Y/N] walk towards the building, waiting for her to be out of her view before turning around, trying to find her teammates but failing, instead deciding to talk to the air surrounding her.  
“And that is how you successfully talk to a girl who has lost trust in the world and has ran away from one of the biggest threats to the world without freaking her out.”  
“And how do you know that we can trust her?”  
Wanda didn’t want to answer that directly, feeling guilt creeping up on her as she remembered her attempts to look inside her brain when they had just arrived. She hadn’t been close enough to succeed but she suddenly remembered the words that had stuck out and had tried to reach her.  
Help me.  
She would have to look again to know for sure that she wasn’t going to plan anything against them, but that was something for later.  
“I thought that it had been you who wanted to recruit her in the first place, Captain."


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that I am the best at coming up with chapter titles help

The first few weeks were horrendous. She had tried to avoid as much people as possible, tried not to fuck things up that would result into her getting her sent back to hell. Getting sent towards her death.  
That's why she was never in the gym on normal hours, instead trying to go there and train at hours that most normal people would be asleep.  
Mistake number one was made there. SHIELD didn't hire 'normal people' and even if they did then it still wouldn't take away the fact that the Avengers weren't 'normal people'.  
It was almost impossible to find a time where there weren't any people trying to train at all which resulted in her walking in and out of the gym a couple of hundred times a day just because she didn't want to be around that much people.  
She knew that it had to change eventually. There would come a time that she would walk into the gym and there was no turning around and coming back another time because people wanted her to be there.   
What she didn't expect was that that had to happen so quick. She hadn't even been at the tower for that long when she had walked into the gym, not expecting the pretty,brown haired girl to be standing right next to the door waiting for her to get inside.   
"[Y/N]! Great that you could make it! So I know that you probably want to leave right now but people don't believe that you can take out Natasha and we all think it would be great for you - and them - to train with us so you can get used to how we fight and kick some ass!"  
She didn't know how to respond to that at all. She was terrified, didn't know what to do and all she wanted to do was just leave. If she had heard that girl correctly than that meant that there would be a lot of people inside and she wasn't ready for this.  
"If you don't want to than that's okay. You shouldn't do anything against your will."  
"I, eh, I'm just going back to my room if you don't mind."  
Her first words actually shared with someone living since she got there were followed by quick footsteps as she made her way back, not waiting for her answer.  
It wasn't until she made it to her room that she started to question 'so you can get used to how we fight'.  
Why on earth should she get used to how they fought?  
Her first big interaction, as the others so kindly put it, was a couple of days later. Her nights were filled with screaming and memories of who she used to be and what she used to do.   
Most of these nights resulted in her getting some food to her room but never actually leaving it. That day, however, was maybe different because she hadn't fallen asleep in her room in the first place.  
She loved the little movie theater on the main floor. During her life she never really had the time to watch movies and as she came here [Y/N] started to realise that they were perfect for letting her forget about her own life for a while. No one had actually walked in there whenever she was there, something she didn't quite understand but still appreciated anyway.   
(She later found out that the AI wouldn't let others in whenever she was in the room and watching movies to make sure that she wouldn't freak out when others would enter. For something that seemed so human to do to be done by something so non-human was hard for her to understand but it touched her nonetheless.   
Maybe it was because it was one of the nicest things done for her in weeks.)  
Her nightmares had been taunting her again and they left her confused alone in a room she didn't recognise at first.  
As her eyes seemed to get used to the darkness surrounding her the features of the little theatre started to form in front of her. She pushed herself up from the chair, rubbing her eyes as she realised that she had barely slept and that she really needed her bed again.  
As soon as she left the theatre she noticed that something was wrong. She had left the rest of the tower behind her when she entered the dimly lit room but then it had been noon. Now light was pouring out of the windows and it didn't feel right. She couldn't have been in there for so long, could she?  
She tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes as she entered the kitchen, immediately regretting her decision.   
The kitchen was filled with people. Avengers. Human beings she didn't want to be around with. People who could send her back to the place she actually belonged in.  
Yet she was hungry and if there was one thing that overcame her fear of people than it was her need to eat.   
And that's how she found herself walking into the big kitchen, ignoring everybody around her, heading straight for the cabinet that held all of sweets of the main floor. She was rummaging through the heaps of pop tart boxes until she found the oreos she was desperately searching for, turning around and almost bumping into the Captain.  
"Goodmorning to you too, sunshine."  
She shove him aside, not caring about the fact that they were all looking at here and that this was her first time surrounded by them in the tower.  
Instead she whispered a small 'shut up’ as she made her way back to her room.  
She didn't want to admit it but that little meeting had resulted in more. They were just small moments in the kitchen with almost no talking involved towards or about her but they managed to make her feel more secure around them.   
And thus the little 'Good Mornings' turned into small talk for the day. The silence turned into spoken words, starting at little, impersonal messages but they ended up in words about the day and what would all happen and it didn't matter that [Y/N] wouldn't participate in most of it because they tried to make sure that she was involved too.  
Maybe that's why she finally agreed on training with instead of without the team.  
It wasn't for something big. She wasn't 'fighting' against the others to prove what she could do. It was her old system, just her alone trying to fight her way through her feelings and her worries, to prepare herself for whatever was coming that was planning to destroy her in someway.  
From now on, though, these daily workout sessions weren't filled with running away purely because the team was inside of the gym. They weren't filled with training at the most ridiculous hours because she didn't want to be around people.   
This time they were on decent hours, combined with a daily rhythm and the support of the rest around her.  
Although she had a slow start in the tower, taking weeks before she finally shared a few words with humans she started to finally feel secure and safe. There was still this small part in her telling her that their initions were bad and that she shouldn't trust them, just like she shouldn't trust HYDRA anymore. However, these thoughts started to matter less and she didn't worry about it as often as she used to.  
Sure, she had heard the rumours too, the stories of the long lost soldier and friend of the Captain but she hadn't paid much attention to them. The only thing she knew about him was that he was old, everybody thought that he had died a long time ago and he had his past with HYDRA.  
She didn't know who she expected him to be but she sure hadn't expected him to be...  
Him.  
He was in the kitchen with the Captain, looking lost as she walked past them towards her room. He had a familiar face and it wasn't until she was almost completely out of the kitchen that that familiar face didn't seem right in that place.  
She walked back slowly, stopping in her track as she stood a few feet away from both of the boys, an afraid expression on her face as she tried to understand what he was doing there.   
He wasn't looking at her but at him and she was glad he was doing that because she wasn't sure if she would have survived that.  
She wasn't sure she was going to survive this at all.  
She ran out of the kitchen, not paying attention anymore to the boys that hadn't even noticed her, trying so hard to have the words running through her mind gone.  
The Winter Soldier is alive.  
It wasn't until she reached her room that the full meaning of the words hit her and she had to take a moment to hold back a sob.  
She had been so wrong before.  
SHIELD wanted her dead as badly as HYDRA wanted.


End file.
